This site doesn't really delve into politics but, once a bikini became involved, the story of Governor Eliot Spitzer and his $4,000 prostitute immediately fell into my jurisdiction. This is a photo of 22-year-old hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre that the New York governor solicited on the night of February 13, according to the New York Times. She's admittedly pretty damn hot. Unfortunately to gain access to her lady parts you have to be a governor, willing to drop four grand and have a cool code name like "Client 9." Well, I've got the four grand (Ah, cash advance. How can I lose?) and I'm all set on the code name. Call me "Jean Chuck Norris Van Damme." Now I just need to work out the governor part which, I'm assuming, entails chopping off Arnold Schwarzenegger's head thus gaining his powers.

EDIT: Here's her MySpace page. She currently only has two friends, but I get the feeling that number's about to drastically increase. At least by one. C'mon, friend request, work your magic.

EDIT: So, that's not really her MySpace page after all. Special thanks to the New York Times for the link. You guys are aces!